Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Still to much of me or Straw that Broke the Camels Back

........... I came here from Provence, alone, uneducated. 
For 8 months - no more than that - a year, 
I sat in a café, I drank coffee, and I wrote nonsense in a journal.
 And then somehow, it was not nonsense.
 I went for long walks and met myself in Paris
You seem embarrassed by loneliness, by being alone. It’s only a place to start
A line from the Movie - SABRINA

Sometimes it does take a stressful situation, a change of events... 
the unexpected -  for us to reach out for answers.  

And when we come up empty
                          we hopefully turn and  reach into our soul to find the answers.

Reach deep into our soul - for only we have our answers.  

 It takes 21 days to form a habit.... So when you desire to make a change in your 
life start with going in reverse.  Do you recall the expression :
The Straw that broke the Camels Back
I see the straws on the Camels back as:
      1.  poor/bad  habits and behaviors that we have developed
      2.  commitments and responsibilities that we are saddled with.
It's a wonder some of us can even "walk".

Take one thing you'd like to change or one thing you'd like to start doing and commit to doing it for 21 days in a row.    Just one thing!  

One thing at a time  
One straw at a time  
One habit at a time  
One pound at a time  
One behavior at a time  

My title is "still to much of me".  

This is the thought  I had today that pierced me  at my core.  I was  dealing with a stressful situation and I  felt my emotions take hold of me physically (as they  will ALWAYS will do).  
 I heard myself say (chronic self monologue going on)

 "hey, it's still ME reacting like I've always done"
And there I was  attempting to justify my reaction.... 
    No matter what reasoning I had to justify my reaction...  right or wrong..
    the domino affect occurred:
    my mind, my body and my spirit went into a tail spin -  I was out of balance!

I want to be more like "HIM" and less like "ME"
When I balance me in Him..... then I will find ME in HIM!
I will find my peace and "act" in a situation.... not "react". 
               I will discover the person I was created to be.

I've been attempting since Last Year to find  the "real me"
                  .... A little like the line in the Movie "Sabrina".

The Me that I feel has been sat on, yelled at, dis-respected, turned down, rejected... faced a million tons of rocks in the road and walls to climb... (waaa, waaaa, waaa.... can you see me playing my tiny violin?)  Freak, I have had my share of troubles!  I have my scars to prove it.... that's why it's a challenge to change my thinking, behaviors and direction. 


What I truly, truly found is.....  "I need to balance"   then and only then, can I have love, success and peace.   

And to balance something is to first recognize what is OUT OF BALANCE.   

It is kind of like tires on a vehicle.  Gotta find which one's are out of balance so it can be fixed.  Well, Missy.... this gal had to get a Re-alignment! 

 So, I choose this journey that started officially January 1, 2010....  

I think the sign on my forehead should read:

If I look back over the past year of blogs and "21 day thing"  I've done many, many times,
I can see how I have had  to take one straw at a time off my back....  

the weight of the bad or poor habits  
I had developed over the years  
that have weighed me down much toooo long. 

I'm still removing straws on my back so that the
                 "one more straw" won't make a difference and cause me to fall (aka Fail).

Still plugging away.... oops!  I mean Still blogging away..... 

Don't forget....... 

Salute!   To your Health and Wellness

I believe everything God created is and has an energy.  
(learned this in science class that all matter is an energy)

When we need to stop a bad habit, we must replace it with a good habit.  
Because, the energy of the bad habit must be replaced with the energy of a good habit.  

Nature will "always" fill the void.... That is because the energy that has left must  and WILL be replaced.  

That is not your choice... it will be replaced with something.
But,  it is your choice that allows the void to be refilled with
 the old habit (that is why habits are so difficult to stop) 
or replace the old habit with a new habit.  

Food for thought..... 


  1. You're Amazing!!!! You inspire me!!!! Actually several times you have ministered to me the exact thing I needed to hear. Thank You so much God Bless you for this blog and sharing your thoughts and...struggles too. I dont know you personally but, I love ya :) Thanks Again. and Merry Christmas!!!!! :))

  2. Lisa, Your comment is greatly appreciated. It's great to hear feedback and especially wonderful to know you were touched by my blog.
    Merry Christmas to you!