Sunday, May 16, 2010

That's all folks

ahhh freak,

I woke this am and saw I'm up a couple pounds! ah freak

my initial reaction besides "ah freak" is "and I didn't eat that unhealthy" but net thought was to put me in check....
"but I didn't get in any exercise and or journalize"

then I think

ah, ya!... ummm, well maybe the two beers (light 110 calories) didn't help.
and eating the WHOLE prime rib dip sandwich- bread and all at the Restaurant.
Even though, when it came the though occurred to do like I had read. Ask for a to go container as soon as I got the sandwich so I'd only eat half. Should have could have since I was SO full after the 1st half and ate the 2nd half only because it "tasted good". I was uncomfortably full after eating "bummer"
I was at war with me (what's new) since I said to myself... "ah, it's a healthy choice.. protein that I need"
yet not admitting I was eating the roll since it was all about the "comfort of eating it" "the lust of the moment"

Yap, and the excuse for the beers was that I was taking a power boat ride in the Bay that had 1-2 foot swells from other boats, choppy ride and I NEEDED TO RELAX. It was NOT an enjoyable thing and ... too bad I had to suck it up since we were with other people. Another Excuse.

In consolation for myself, I did had a good low carb egg dish for breakfast. (an attempt to regain my sense of not feeling like a total failure)
I did drink more than 3 - 18 oz glasses of water.
But, the truth is
I didn't do a few of the right things to make a difference.

WHY... is always the question to myself.

Well, I was ok at breakfast.... just lalala ing to myself about the day.
by the time I hit the resturant for lunch I was wawawa ing about the stupid boat ride that was NOT fun. So, I consoled myself (unconsciously) at lunch. oh, the beer was what I took on the boat knowing I was going to wawawa...

Then, in the evening I think I was still a little whinning about not getting my way with what I wanted to do.... (personal unhappiness about not having control on things that I have going on around me).

Ah, the spiritual battle fell into my physical battle with ME!

And look who suffers.... ME.

I desperately want to have HEALTHY HABITS that take over ME and rule ME.

What I have learned from my 21 days journey is that - NO guilt... just slap my self in the head and say "
I could of had a V 8" and move on and TRY AGAIN TODAY..

"that's all folks"