Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Day 19 - The war
Romans 7 - Struggling15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Life Through the Spirit1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.3For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering.And so he condemned sin in sinful man, 4in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit.
5Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; 7the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. 8Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.
This was my epiphany! This past year a light clicked on.
It wasn't about the right "diet". It wasn't about right "exercise". It wasn't for lack of "knowledge" of diets and exercises. It wasn't for lack of "resources" (my exercise bike was a great clothes rack for years and my gym membership.... ouch! money down the drain with me not "finding time".)
It hit me - "why do I do what I know I shouldn't do, and why don't I do what I know I should do!?".
This is when I came to the honest appraisal of the problem. I struggle with NOT eating foods that I know are not healthy choices because of the following:
How I feel about food! It's to satisfy me, It's to comfort me... it's to spoil my lust for the pleasure of how it taste, feels in my mouth... and ultimately makes me feel like I'm PLEASING ME.
It's about ME! Something I can control and give myself and have instant gratification. Pleasing my desire to please me! Unfortunately, what please "me" wasn't the healthiest choice.
So, the "21 days to Health and Wellness" is to develop a NEW way of seeing oneself. To see myself as BODY, MIND and SPIRIT.
My walk needs to match my talk.
How can a Nurse who knows how the body works and how can a Christian who knows the power of Gods Word, and How can an Person with a degree in Science STRUGGLE with Health! Come on! Ridiculous!
The Scripture in Romans says it all. 5I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
This was me reaching for a cookie. Forget that, it was worse. I would take the time and energy to make homemade fudge brownies....yet, all the time I was mixing and baking... I would saying in my head "I shouldn't make this cuz I'll eat most of it myself". But, my body seemed to be disengaged from my mind. I was at war!
Then I realized that I was at WAR with myself!!
First I didn't recognize the enemy... My habits, desires and my belief system about foods. Food was not the enemy - it was ME. I needed to re-teach myself - re-condition myself - develop Healthy MIND, SPIRIT, BODY Habits.
But, it gets better. How I viewed food and exercise was about doing "what pleased me"... I was pleasing the self serving me. Ok, in spiritual terms... I was pleasing the flesh, not the spirit. Ya know that darn flesh is lazy and lustful. The two L's.
I'm at the end of my "21 days" and I am victorious! I'm finding I have a new approach to Loving myself through Healthy Choices. I've developed (and am continuing to develop) the NEW me. The one that sees myself as 3 entities (No, not like the three faces of EVE, HA lol).
I've reviewed my patterns of identifying food - Now I look at something and reinforce my new system of seeing food: It's either a Healthy or Unhealthy choice.
I've learned to develop the habit of putting myself in check (this is becoming natural). When I reach for something to eat I asked this question "am I hungry or am I wanting something to satisfy me". If I am hungry, no problem since I'm going to make a Healthy Choice in selecting something to eat. If I'm honest and know I'm looking for something to "satisfy" me... I then speak the WORD - this can be various scripture verse I know ... ie "only HE can satisfy my soul", "Greater is He that is in me than He that is in ... that food!". I draw strength from HIS WORD. I TELL myself "I want to exercise"! (even if I don't FEEL that, I SAY it)
I've developed a habits. Like standing in front of the pastry counter at Starbucks... I look at the items and repeat in my head (hopefully not out loud). "Those look terrible, full of lard, sugar, greasy .... Not a healthy choice"
My mantra "I don't need that, I don't want it and it's not good for me! I practice saying this when I look at foods in magazines, TV, stores... etc. It's now a way of life.
I've developed the thoughts in my head.... I love to exercise. Even though I use to drag myself my exercise machine. I reinforce the thoughts (despite the feelings) "I can't wait to exercise, It makes me feel so good!". When I first get on my exercise bike and the feelings of oh, man... maybe I'll just do 3 minutes. I say to myself (ignoring my feelings), "ahh, I love how I feel when I exercise".
Yes, I know it sounds crazy but IT WORKS! You MUST re-teach yourself! Develop new habits. Change your patterns.
It takes 21 days! New habits! This is the Truth I tell you. It's truly liberating. The war is won... but I'll keep my defenses up... knowing the enemy is "near".
Stop being at war with yourself. Defeat the enemy (the flesh) and strengthen the winner in you!
Seek God's strength, desire to Please the Lord with your life. Desire to take care of YOU!
Feed your MIND, SPIRIT and BODY today with Healthy choices!
Salute! To your Health and Wellness
TWO DAYS to go
I'll then go back and revise my blog - any suggestions???? I'm planning this being a book.